Beware of poison.

If you want to have an interesting conversation with Sophie Jane, just bring up poison...or give her a Clorox wipe.

It will go something like this:

Me: Here, why don't you wipe down the table with this wipe?

Sophie: But, is this poison?

Me: Well...kind-of, just don't eat it.

Sophie: But if I ate it then I would die and get to go be with Jesus...

Me: Well, yes, but I'd still prefer that you didn't eat it.

Sophie: Well I won't, because there is NO WAY I'm going to heaven without my parents. We all have to go together.

Me: Sounds good to me.

Sophie: But how will I remember not to eat it? Who will remind me? I'll need someone to tell me all the time!

Me: Sophie, don't eat the Clorox Wipe...there, I reminded you.

Sophie: Whew...if I did eat it, I'd have to go to the dentist and they'd have to clean the poison off my teeth and then I'd probably have to go to the doctor to get a shot. Right?

Me: Uh...sure? That sounds about right.

Sophie: What if it gets on my knees and then I try to eat my knees?

Me: Don't eat your knees.

Sophie: Yeah...we're going to need to tell the babies about this.

Me: Or...how about we just don't give them a Clorox wipe?

Sophie: Yeah, I guess...but we should probably tell them too. Wait! Is that glitter in that bag? Can I play with glitter?

And thus, all thoughts of poison, dentists, death, and eating knees are forgotten.