Our forty pound whale.

Connor weighs about forty pounds. He has weighed forty pounds for at least a year now. He is our small fry. He gets taller, but he never gains weight. He can eat as much as he wants all day long and he never weighs more than forty pounds. I think he must have the highest metabolism in the entire world. (Also the most handsome smile, but I digress...)

Oddly enough, even though the kid only weighs forty pounds, you would never know it at bath time. He has the ability to drown my beautiful, clean, dry bathroom in a matter of minutes. Before bath time our bathroom looks something like this....

After Connor has finished his twenty minutes of bath time, my bathroom looks kind of like this....

Okay, so these pictures may not be exact representations of my bathroom at any point in time. I am not exaggerating, however, when I say that after his bath the place is soaked. Bath time for Connor is a four towel endeavor, one towel for him and three to clean up my bathroom. I have tried several times to catch him doing whatever it is that results in the bathroom being flooded, but I always seem to find him doing something completely innocuous like washing his hair.

I suppose that since he is already taking showers some of the time that my bath days with him are numbered. I'll enjoy them while I can, even if it means a little extra clean up on my part.

Tentatio

Suffering. According to Martin Luther, suffering is part of a Christian's spiritual life. We pray, we meditate, we suffer. I hate suffering. It is in suffering, however, that I am driven to prayer and meditation. It is in suffering, that I am driven to the cross of Christ and the forgiveness of sins that was accomplished there.

It is also in suffering that I see the blessings that God has given me so clearly. When I have lost yet another child, Connor and Sophia seem so very precious to me. I cannot help but kiss their little faces at every opportunity and frequent declarations of love are a must. In the midst of my grief, I am reminded that Ben will do nearly anything to bring me joy and how much he hates for me to be sad. It is also when I am suffering that I am shown how much my extended family and friends care about me, Ben, and the kids.

Although I must remain on this Earth that is rife with sin and sorrow, those who have gone before me to the kingdom of my Lord know only joy. Yes, I must remain, but I take solace that I need suffer here a short time as I await an eternity without tears, sadness, or death.

Amen. Come Lord Jesus.

Connor meets the President......of Lutheranism.

Today Connor ran into the President of the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod. Ran into may not be the best way to describe what happened, it was more like backed into and then tripped over his presidential feet.

Then this guy bent down, picked my son up, gave him a little hug, apologized, and asked him his name.

You can see why we call him The Stache, right? His actual title, however, is President Harrison.

After we apologized, I attempted to explain to Connor just whose feet he'd been tripping over. He was somehow less impressed than I was that we were meeting the president of the LCMS. Despite the fact that I was a little star struck, I did keep my promise to Adriane and requested her immediate return to Fort Wayne. President Harrison laughed politely, acknowledged that she does indeed miss us, said he was keeping her anyway, and then wondered off to his lunch table to do Lutheran Rock Star kinds of things.

Connor nearly collided with any number of other individuals at lunch, but we avoided any further incident. It wouldn't have mattered anyway because unless John Warwick Montgomery or Rod Rosenbladt were eating in the cafeteria without my knowledge, none of the other people there today could top meeting President Harrison. (Although, let the record show that meeting Scott Murray a couple of weeks ago was a close second).

It's Forbidden

Ben and I were cleaning up from dinner last night and he made a forbidden statement in my presence.

As he was washing dishes - side note...yes, my husband washes dishes, like all the time - Ben said the following "I think if I ever was to get my STM, and then my PhD, and become a teacher, I would want to teach Homiletics."

For those of you who don't speak Semanarianese, please allow me to translate this statement so that you can see why it is forbidden. "I think if I ever was to get my Masters in Sacred Theology ($60,000 loans), and then my Doctorate degree ($80,000 loans), and become a teacher ($40,000 starting salary) I would want to teach Preaching."

Now you understand while these words are forbidden in our house.

I responded in a completely rationale and supportive way by saying "Well, if you are going to get a PhD you better find a way to pay for it, because I'm staying home with the kids." That's supportive, right? Ben assured me that he was just saying if...not when...and that I didn't need to freak out yet.

This is me...not freaking out.

Metamorphises

Two years ago we moved to this far off land so that Benjamin could become a pastor. Since he is nearly half way through this formation process, I thought I would take a moment to reflect on how these last two years have changed our family.

In the past two years we have moved twice, cut our income in half, and had a baby. These changes have been tough but through them we have been strengthened as a family. We've learned a lot of lessons - some of them the hard way.

We've learned that living eleven hours away from your family stinks. Our kids don't get to see our parents as often as we would like them to. Ben and I don't get to have much alone time because we can't always find a sitter and let's be honest - I have a really hard time trusting anyone with my kids that doesn't fall into the category of immediate family.

We've learned that if you don't have very much money you can't fight very much about money. You can, however, be disappointed about money a lot. Things that you want to do just can't always be done. Weekend trips that you would like to make can't be made. New clothes that I want to buy must be passed over.

We've learned that our fellow Christian saints around this country are more generous than we could have every imagined and more giving than we could ever deserve. I cry now when I open a letter in the mail and find a check or a gift card in it. I wonder why God, who knows how selfish and worthless I am, keeps giving me such good gifts. Doesn't He know, I ask Ben, that we are just going to buy something stupid with this money like a movie or pizza? Yet the money comes and we always end up with just what we need when a crisis strikes.

We've learned that having three bedrooms is a million times better than having two. Sophia and Connor sleep much better in their own separate bedrooms and if they are sleeping better, so am I.

We've learned that having a baby when you are at seminary is a great idea because you have your choice of a about three hundred wonderful Godfather candidates (although I daresay we picked two of the best).

I've learned that my husband is a pretty good preacher and that he is going to be a great pastor. He has come so far in the past two years that I am amazed by his transformation. He is still snarky and sarcastic (I kind of like him that way), but he talks to the elderly, jokes with high school kids, and answers deep theological questions in a way that I never would have expected him to two years ago.

We have learned that there are amazing pastors in formation and amazing men who will do so much good for God's children that will be put in their care. We've learned that a man of God can be pious without becoming pietistic.

Our experiences over the past two years have made us better. They have helped me and Ben to have a stronger marriage. They have helped us to be better parents. They have helped us to be more appreciative of the good gifts we receive. We pray that they will help Ben to be a better pastor and will help me to be a better pastor's wife.

Living Room Picnics

After furiously cleaning the kitchen tonight, (our landlord is coming tomorrow to do some work) I really didn't want the kids to eat dinner in there. This is mostly because all my hard work would have been diminished the second that they dumped a bunch of crumbs on the floor, spilled juice on the table, and covered their chairs in grape jelly. What? Is this not how your family eats?

As such, we decided to have a living room picnic because...well...mostly because I hadn't cleaned that room yet.

I threw a blanket on the floor, made some sandwiches, sat the kids in front of the TV, and we watched Tangled. I may be a little bit biased, but I find the view of Connor and Sophia sitting side by side on the floor doing something together completely adorable.

They are pretty cute, right?

Yeah, I think so too.

Not for the faint of heart.

In celebration of Mother's Day, I thought I would write a few words on how being a mother is nothing like I expected it to be. I am sure that I have nothing new or insightful to say, but it is my sincerest wish that you will enjoy my thoughts. That's right, my sincerest wish. Can you tell I've been reading Pride and Prejudice again?

I always assumed motherhood would be hard. Surely it had to be a lot of work to do all that mothering stuff like changing diapers, washing faces, wiping noses, etc. I knew it would be hard, but I was not prepared for just how difficult it really is. The thing that is the hardest is that it often seems like every other mom except me has this down. They seem to be able to take care of their children in an effortless manner. I have several theories on what is behind the phenomenon.

Theory Number 1: I stink at being a mother. This is my least favorite theory because I don't like the idea that I could actually be lousy at this whole mothering thing. Since I did go to college, am able to hold a steady job, and kind of maintain a house (emphasis on kind of), I just think this theory is incorrect. Which leads me to....

Theory Number 2: My kids are the worst kids in the history of all children and I deserve sainthood for raising them. Okay, maybe not sainthood, but could I at least get a small amount of beatification? The problem with this theory is that my kids, although challenging, are really awesome kids. They are funny, smart, silly, and sweet. As such, they cannot possibly be the worst kids in the whole world. And thus I present...

Theory Number 3: All the other moms in the world are faking it. Well maybe not all of them, but the vast majority. They go to bed exhausted just like I do. They get letters home from school, just like me. Their kids drive them crazy, confuse them, terrorize them, and keep life interesting, just like mine do. They just put on a good face so that I don't suspect that they are also figuring this parenting thing out as they go. It makes me wonder if to the outside world I too seem to have this all under control. Perhaps my smoke and mirror show is more impressive than I think it is.

I have come to terms with the fact that I may not have it as together as other moms, or at least not as much as other moms appear to. I'm okay with that because I wouldn't trade my kids for anything. As challenging as Connor has been is, you can't beat his wild sense of humor. Sophia now screams every time she isn't getting exactly what she wants, but you can't resist her smile when she wakes up in the morning and sees you.

Kids are a lot of work. We don't raise them for our own glorification or joy. We raise them so that there can be a few more good kids out there. We raise them in fear and admonition of the Lord so that they too will serve their neighbors in love. We teach them about Christ, we teach them about marriage, we teach them about love, joy, sorrow, fear, anger, and faith. We teach them all these things and then send them out into the world in hope that they will meet someone whose parents taught them these things too. Someone with a good mom.

Happy Mothers Day to all moms out there. Thank you for your tireless love and devotion to your children. Feel free to slack off a little over the next couple of days so I'll look better by comparison.

Do not try this at home.

Sophia has learned a new trick.

I am not a fan of this new trick.

Mostly because it means I either have to stay right by her
the whole time she is eating or else risk her getting a broken neck.