The joy of being left out.

Ben was approved for a delayed vicarage next year which means we are not going anywhere for the time being. It is such a relief to us to be able to stay here. I can keep working, the kids can have some stability, Ben will get to finish up his course work, and we don't have to move to some far region of the country only to move back in another year.

I am definitely glad that Ben was approved for the delayed, but can't help feeling a little left out here lately. Most of the other 2nd year seminary families are bursting with expectation because on Monday night they will find out what the next year will entail. They are packing their bags, welcoming family in for the big event, and dreaming of far off locales.

Again - let me emphasize that I don't want Ben to go on vicarage next year. It was the absolute best decision for our family to stay here, we love our new house, we found a great place for Connor to go to kindergarten, and we have known since January what the next year will bring us. It was a comforting thing. We are joyful that we will get to see our friends that are returning from vicarage next year and that we will get to spend time with them.

I just feel a little left out. As such, I have made myself a list, in no particular order, of all the reasons that it is great to stay in Fort Wayne for one more year.

1. Five Guys
   
2. Lynne Beardsley (she gets me)
   
3. Confessional Lutheranism (Fort Wayne is lousy with it)
4. Walther Library
5. Fall
6. Living next door to Target
7. The Graduate Assistant's for next year (they are awesome)

Yes, I feel left out of the loop and on Monday night I will be a little sad that we don't have any exciting news, but I also have joy because I know that next year we will have a great opportunity to build on old friendships and get one year closer to Ben getting a call.

God's blessings to all of our friends that will get their big news on Monday.

New Bike = Big Grin

We finally broke down and bought Connor his first big kid bike...well biggish kid bike.

Check out the big grin at the end.

Big Brother

When I was pregnant with Sophia, Ben and I spent many an hour fretting about what kind of brother Connor would be. We worried about the level of patience he would have for a little baby, we wondered if he would feel angry at the baby who had disrupted his life, and we feared that he would despise this new little girl for ruining his life.

I don't mean to pick on Connor. He is an amazing kid, smart, funny, and sweet. He is also, completely unpredictable. You just never know what you are going to get and thus we worried.

We were just sure that Connor would be a terrible brother, that there would be lots of fighting, and that it would be a constant battle. It turns out we worried for nothing. I said he was unpredictable.

He is so helpful when it comes to Sophia.
He takes care of her, watches after her, hugs her, holds her, and loves her.

She does frustrate him sometimes, but in general they get along so well that we just can't believe that we were ever worried.

If he sits down, she will sit right beside him. If he walks down the hall, she is hot on his heels. If she is tired, he is singing her a lullaby. If she is crabby, he is trying to make her laugh.

We couldn't be prouder of Connor and watch in wonder as he interacts with his sister. We are even more amazed that he almost daily asks us when we will have another baby so he can have another brother or sister to play with. Who knew he had it in him?

Rain, soup, kids, and cuddles.

When your back yard looks like this...

it is a pretty good day to make some of these...

and you'll need some of this to keep you warm.

Then you can curl up with a blanket and watch some of this....

with one adorable little girl...

and a super handsome boy.

The weather tomorrow is supposed to be a sunny 68 degrees...
followed by rain.

That's not fair!

Connor has had a very emotional week and it has centered around how unfairly he is treated on a regular basis. Although I was expecting this at some point, I kind of thought we had a few years before this phase was going to hit us.

I have imposed the following unfair things on his this week.

1. I gave Sophia a drink before I gave one to him.
2. I wouldn't let him play outside when it was 30 degrees...and raining.
3. I didn't have a dessert after dinner and had no intention of making one.
4. We ran out of granola bars.
5. I made him go to bed at his regular scheduled bed time.

First, we had a very serious discussion about how there is going to be a whole lot of not fair going on for the rest of his life and that he just needs to deal with it.

Then, we talked about how Jesus died for our sins and paid the price that would have fairly been ours to pay. I told him that sometimes when we don't get what we deserve that is a good thing. That this is especially true when it comes to our salvation. We don't deserve it and yet there it is for us.

Connor listened intently to all of this, agreed with me, and then proceeded to complain about all the other ways in which he is continuously not treated fairly. Then I instituted a new house rule. Every time he whines about how something is unfair I make him go to bed 5 minutes earlier.

But....but...that's....

Yes Connor?

Never mind.

Umhmmm. Yeah.

Thanks Mom! I learned that one from you.

Wild Nights

I believe that Connor may be the most restless sleeper in the entire world. I understand that this is a pretty bold statement.

As photographic evidence I submit the following.

Let the record show that I did not put him to bed with a giant cow or triceratops. They were actually clear across the room. Furthermore, I almost never encourage the practice of sleeping with not one, but two butterfly nets in your bed. I find that my bug catching skills at night seem to be entirely diminished by my propensity to be asleep.

This is part of the fun in being Connor's mom. You just never know what you are going to find each morning. Ah well, to each his own.

The Running of the Seminarians

Last week a major event took place on campus. This is the kid of event that make Elvis and the Beatles looks like amateurs. Yes, I am talking about the Walther Library Book Sale.

The book sale is a lot of work, but it is also a lot of fun. The whole process from set up to tear down takes a week, but it is totally worth the effort because of how much the students enjoy getting books that would normally cost them $40 for $1.

Here are the highlights for those of you who have never experienced this level of fervor for books.

My partner in this adventure is Lynne. Along with Adriane, she is one of my best Fort Wayne friends. She is smiling because I took this picture at the beginning of the sale. By Friday, neither Lynne or I really needed to be anywhere near a camera. Yikes.

Our beautiful set up. There are rows and rows of books. We ended up having over 100 boxes for this sale. We divide the books between hardback and paperback. Hardback books are $1.00 and Paperback books are $0.50. All magazines, Bibles, and hymnals are free.

Another table of books. Beautifully arranged if I do say so myself.

We also have a number of auction items because there are just somethings that the boys (yes, that is what I call these grown men that go to school here) should really pay more than a dollar for. These items typically are worth $150 - $300 and are sold for $35 - $60. Still a pretty good deal.

Yes, these students are running towards the books sale. This is how we know that we are about ready to get slammed. This is also how we know that it is time to unlock the doors. (After we stop laughing at them).

Then the room fills up with pastors, professors, students, their wives, and people from the community who like a good deal.

Then we push all the remaining books together and wait for the next rush. In case you were wondering, this table used to be completely full.

The best moment was when our very own Adriane Door had Blizzards delivered to me and Lynne even though she lives in Missouri! We were very appreciate of the delicious treat and although, we would have preferred her company to ice cream (we miss you Adriane!), it was nice to know that while she is off setting the world on fire that she remembers us. Plus, nothing says I miss working with you like ice cream does.

We sold over 1,000 books that day. A good weeks work for a great cause. All the proceeds from the sale go towards buying and shipping books to our sister seminaries around the world.

The not so charmed life.

My boss describes those days, weeks, or months where things just don't go right as Satan nibbling at you. I could write a whole post about how awesome it is to have a boss that understands that bad days aren't caused by bad karma, the universe being misaligned, or your horoscope, but I'll save that for later.

You know Satan is nibbling at you when things continuously go wrong. If you don't know the kind of days I am talking about, I recommend checking your pulse to make sure you are actually alive. If you are alive, then I really have nothing nice to say about your charmed life, except good for you (and yes, I am saying it in a very jealous and snotty way)

Today was one of those nibbling days. One where you feel like Satan is trying to beat you down, God is trying to strengthen your faith, and that you just want some ding dang chocolate and a Coke.

The day started to turn sour at the exact moment that smoke started to pour out of the hood of our new (as in from 1989, but new to us) car.

The day got worse when I turned on the wrong oven burner and proceeded to ruin one of my Pampered Chef cookie sheets that was sitting on top of said burner. It turns out that although cookie sheets do great in the oven, they are not all that awesome at stove top cooking.

As the grand highlight, I prepared everything I needed to make spaghetti for dinner only to realize that I didn't have a very important ingredient...spaghetti.

Sophia then started to cry and being the strong capable Mom that I am, I sat down on the kitchen floor, pulled her into my lap, and started to cry with her.

I was at the end of my rope, that special place where I am literally two minutes away from ordering pizza, putting on pajamas, and not doing anything else for the rest of the night.

Then a series of events quickly transpired that changed everything.

Ben, who is always there to reel me back in, came into the kitchen and assured me that my cookie sheet was not ruined. Instead, he argued, it looks like I am some sort of super baker.

It turns out that if you make macaroni and cheese and put spaghetti sauce on it that you get a cheesy and delicious pasta. Who knew?

And finally, the one thing that took our night and put it back on track was when I opened the refrigerator and saw this.

I screamed "Connor help! There's a ghost in the refrigerator! He came running into the kitchen opened up the fridge and started cracking up. Then we were all laughing and there was something about that laughter that took a bad day and made it somehow okay.

Life is painful. Sin permeates this world, yet we endure. We endure for our family, we endure for our loved ones, we endure because we know that Christ endured sin, death, and the devil for our sakes and that He is here enduring with us. We know that all things, even busted up cars, broken cookie sheets, mixed up meals, and sad babies, work together for our good.

The unseen dangers of Dora.

Connor really likes playing the Wii Fit, especially his Nickelodeon get fit game.

He especially enjoys playing the Dora explorer Hip Hoop game. The object of the game is to ensure that neither Dora or Boots loose their hip hoop. When you play these kind of games on the Wii Fit you are supposed to put your whole body into it - I think that is the whole "Fit" part of the deal.

As with everything he wants to do, Connor gives this 100% of his effort. See for yourself.

It's like Thunder...and lightning.

I know that I pick on Fort Wayne...a lot. I don't intend to be constantly criticizing our city. We actually like it here quite a bit, but there are just things that are different.

I could write hundreds of angry letters to the horrible Fort Wayne drivers, wonder forever what is so special about a Vera Bradley bag, and say mean things about the overall indifferent attitude of my Target cashier.

On the other hand, I could write poetry about how beautiful Fall is here, how much I love the distinctness of the seasons, and how I will forever miss living in this bastion of confessional Lutheranism when Ben receives a call and I have to go live in the real world. I can honestly say I don't hate it here.

There is one thing I do hate about living here. Thunderstorms. Yep, thunderstorms. But, not for the reasons you may think. The thunderstorms in Fort Wayne are beyond ridiculous. It rains, you hear a few distant booms, maybe see a flash of lightning, and it is over. It may continue to rain for two weeks, but that is the entire storm.

I miss a Kansas thunderstorm more than I miss good Mexican food, more than I miss sane drivers, and more than I miss BBQ. I miss the storm rolling in, the way the sky turns odd colors, the shaking of the windows, and the general feeling that your roof might be ripped off your house any minute. I miss the smell outside after a good thunderstorm, the way everything smells clean and new. Most of all I miss hearing the storm raging outside why you lay cuddled up in a warm bed.

We just don't have that here. I try to explain to my friends that have never lived anywhere where thunderstorms reign supreme that they are missing out, but they mostly think that a house shaking, wind howling, lightning striking storm would terrify them, not give them a sense of peace.

I don't mean to over romanticize the storms of Kansas (I can hear you saying too late in your mind), but I think they are part of what makes the people of the Midwest strong people. Storms tear things down, break things, and are unpredictable. When storms rip your life apart you have to rebuild and move on. Weathering all those literal storms, help us to weather the emotional storms that we must in life.

The peace I feel after a violent thunderstorm is akin to the peace I feel after a big fight, a good long cry, and a bowl of ice cream...in my warm and cozy bed.