Being a parent is such an challenging vocation. It is harder than it looks, you never know if you are really doing a good job, and (if you are anything like me) it seems like most of the other parents you know seem to be doing this more effortlessly than you.
Parenting requires a kind of selflessness that is hard for me to muster. I'll admit it, I am a selfish human being. I would like to occasionally eat an entire meal without a kid either sitting on my lap, or stealing food from my plate. I would like to use the restroom without anyone trying to walk in on me, or screaming at me through the door. I would like to not have to clean up dirty diapers and I hate cleaning up poopy bottoms. I dream of sleeping in past 6:30 am, and although I enjoy Backyardigans, it is kind of sad that I basically have every single episode memorized.
I'm forever finding these super moms on the internet. Women who make delicious and nutritious foods for the kids all the time, keep a spotless house, never complain, and whose children are well behaved and polite little beings. I kind of hate these moms. And... I also kind of think they have to be faking it. And... I like to think that if they are not faking it and their life is really that simple it is just because they are way less capable of the many and various challenges that God obviously thinks I can handle.
In addition to describing myself as selfish, I should have also added petty, snarky, and hateful. I freely admit that I am the chief of all sinners and that no one is more in the need of Christ's grace and forgiveness than me.
It is easy to forget that my children are little sinners too. And just as I am in constant need of forgiveness from Christ, my children are in constant need of forgiveness from me. Likewise, I am always in need of forgiveness from them.
Me and my children have something in common. We are sinners, clothed in the righteousness of Christ. This righteousness does not come from us and we do nothing to earn or deserve it. It is given to us freely. It saves us. It preserves us. It teaches us what true sacrifice is.
Despite the challenges that being a parent presents, there are times where the new creation that my children received in their baptism comes shining through. These are the moments where I hear my children confess Christ crucified. There is nothing more amazing or joyous than when your little ones prays fervently, asks for forgiveness, or talks openly about how Jesus died for them.
These happier moments are the kind that sustain us through the rough moments. When the baby is crying at 3:30 in the morning and all I want is for her to sleep, I remember her sweet little smiles and think about what kind of person she will become some day.
When Connor and Sophia are fighting and yelling and screaming and generally driving me completely crazy, I think about the times when they are sitting quietly and looking at a book together. Or I think about the fact that every time Sophia is in big time trouble, Connor tries to convince us to not be so hard on her. I can tell that he truly does love his little sister.
My life may not be as put together as some of the other moms out there (or you know, all of them). And, I know that this is mostly my fault. But I also know that I am forgiven when I mess up.
Christ sustains us in all things. He provides our daily bread, and more than that, He provides for our eternal needs. His perfect life, death, and resurrection make it so that we can have an eternal home in heaven. If He is willing to provide that for me, won't He also sustain me as a parent? That is not to say that I won't have hard days, or days where it seems like I have about three too many children. But it means that on those days that I fail as a parent, I am forgiven. It also means that on those days that things are going great and I think I need about three more of these little monsters, that I can thank Him for the precious gift of parenthood.
