How to make your parents want to buy you a pet.

1. Ask for a mason jar with holes in the lid.
2. Catch three crickets and a grasshopper. 
3. Name the crickets and the grasshopper the following names: Marty, Little Black, Hanger, and Orange Wings. 
4. Carry this jar around and introduce them to the whole family. 
5. Hug the jar on a fairly continuous basis. 
6. Talk incessantly about how much you love your bugs. 
7. Watch television shows your pet bugs. 
8. Say things like "these bugs are just our pets for now, but they are going to become part of our family soon."
9. Talk about how fun it is going to be when the crickets have babies and we have a whole cricket family.
10. Put a picture of a bird on the outside of the mason jar to encourage your bugs to get some exercise. 
11. Give your bugs private time. 
12. Plan how awesome it is going to be to let the bugs sleep beside your bed all night long. 

This boy needs a dog.