I want my Mama!

I was thinking today about the fact that Sophia's third birthday is only a week away and that of course made me think about the day Sophia was born.

We were, of course, living in Fort Wayne at the time and I was definitely trying to put on a brave, I can totally have this baby away from my family, face. Everything with Sophia was different. It was the first time I had been able to carry a pregnancy past the first trimester after Connor and after finding out that I had Factor V Leiden and Methylenetetrahydrofolate reductase (MTHFR). I had given myself shots every day since about six weeks along, and had seen my doctor at least once a month the whole time. I was nervous, because of the blood thinning shots I took during pregnancy, I was going to have to be induced for the first time and had heard horror stories of induction and how terrible it makes everything. But, I trusted my doctor completely and felt sure that between he and Ben, I had the support I needed.  

A week or so before I was scheduled to be induced, my perinatologist went on "emergency family medical leave." Side note: I'm still not sure exactly what this means. So here I was, a week out from having a baby, my beloved doctor gone for the next six plus weeks, and I wanted what any thirty year old girl wants...her mom. I met the doctor who was going to fill in for him and we scheduled my induction for a Saturday morning. I put on my brave face and repeatedly told my mom that I was going to be fine. That I could do this. That I was a grown up. And, that I didn't need her to come to Fort Wayne. 

Like the good mother she is, my mom didn't believe a word of this nonsense. Still, you can imagine my surprise (since I had been quite adamant that I could do this without her) when she and my sister, Michelle walked into the hospital room as I was lying there waiting for Sophia to decide that being born might just be worth the trouble of it all. My surprise was compounded by the fact that I had talked to my mom, on her HOME phone number, a bunch the night before and even that same morning. It turns out if you are fancy, like Michelle, you can forward your home phone to ring to a cell phone and get that call no matter where you are. Tricky, huh?

I think it took me a good twenty minutes for my brain to register that my mom was indeed standing in the hospital room. I was just that surprised. And I was so happy. Suddenly it felt like everything was going to be okay. Most of all I was just so relieved that now, no matter how long this deliver took, Connor had someone to look after him and I didn't have to worry about putting someone out. You're allowed to put your parents out by making them watch your kids because they kind of like your kids. 

It turns out that moms know stuff about junk, because Sophia's delivery was terrible and then we were told that she may have dwarfism (for those of you who have seen Sophia...ever...feel free to chuckle here, I do...frequently). All of these things were made easier by the fact that my mom and sister were there. My mom knew that I would need her and she came. 

It's what moms do.

Cracker Barrel Goodness

I've craved many things throughout the course of this pregnancy, but Cracker Barrel is consistently one of them. I've gone there roughly twice in my twenty weeks of pregnancy and both times I got the same exact thing: grilled chicken, mashed potatoes with country gravy, and corn.

You know how sometimes you imagine something being wonderful and amazing and then when you finally get to have that thing it just doesn't live up to expectations?

I can honestly say that both times that I've gone to Cracker Barrel I have imagined that the food was going to be incredible. That I was going to eat every last bite and that I was going to leave there happy. And, both times it lived up to my expectations. Exactly. Both times it was as amazingly delicious as I thought it would be. And, both times I left thinking "I could eat there again tomorrow."

I could go eat there right now and I already had dinner.

I think it is probably a good thing that the nearest Cracker Barrel is over 35 minutes away. Our budget is not built to withstand these kinds of cravings.

Oh yeah...and the lemonade. Don't forget the lemonade in that frosty little glass. Delicious.

Girl Elevators.

Contrary to popular opinion in Indiana, Kansas is part of the Midwest. I know this because of the following:

1. Kansas is actually west of the Mississippi. 
2. We like to eat our chili with cinnamon rolls.
3. You don't have to drive too far before you see a grain elevator. 

I'm pretty sure that it has been scientifically proven that these are the requirements for saying you live in the Midwest. And I know that you are all sick of me waxing eloquent on the virtue of chili and cinnamon rolls. 

Therefore, my focus for today is on grain elevators. They aren't much to look at, but I like them. I think that is because I grew up within a few miles of one...this one to be precise. 

As a native Kansan, it warmed my heart when we were driving in town today and Sophia pointed one out to me. The conversation went something like this. 

Sophia: Mom! An elevator! An elevator!

Me: You're right. That is a grain elevator.

Sophia: Yeah. It's for girls to ride in. 

Me: Girls? No, it is a grain elevator, not a girl elevator. 

Sophia: Yeah, but girls ride in it. 

Me: No, it is for grain...like for bread. 

Sophia: Bread? You so funny mom. Bread doesn't ride in an elevator. Girls do. And babies, but only if they are in the stroller. 

Well...at least she thinks it is perfectly normal to eat chili with cinnamon rolls. 

Of Mom Awesomeness and Bath time.

You know those moments when you feel like for just a few seconds in time you were an awesome mom? This doesn't happen very often for me....mostly I feel like a really super okay mom. But occasionally, I have a moment of Mom awesomeness. A moment where I feel like I own this whole being a mom thing. Fortunately, the real world is there to kick me in the teeth before I get too full of myself, but these moments do exist.

Last night during bath time I had one of those moments. I put the girls in the tub, got them the appropriate number of bath toys (at my house this is roughly fifty million), washed their hair, and then proceeded to sweep, mop, Lysol, dump trash, and clean the entire bathroom while they happily enjoyed their playtime.

I even was so productive during that fifteen minutes that I was able to snap some pictures of my little girls splashing around.

Not to worry. This moment of Mom Awesomeness lasted just as long as bath time. After which both of the girls threw fits while getting their pajamas put on, screamed while getting their hair brushed, and sulked as they were put to bed. We were obviously back to our normal scheduled programming.

Roommates

When we got back from Fort Wayne we had a massive cleaning party. The type where I do all the jobs I've been putting off for way too long. Everyone got new bedding, bedrooms floors were found, closets were cleaned out, clothes were hung up, and socks missing their mates were sent packing. 

In the midst of this frenzy Ben and I had the same exact thought at nearly the same moment. I don't know if this happens in any one else's marriage, but it happens in our's frequently. I realized while cleaning Sophia's room that we had all just spend a week living in the same room. I started to think about making Elinor and Sophia share a room. 

As we were cleaning out around Elinor's crib, Ben looked at me and said "Would we be crazy if we moved Elinor into Sophia's room?" After telling him that I was just thinking the same thing earlier that day, we decided to bite the bullet and do it. Besides, we need to make some room in our space for the newest Ockree addition before this summer. 

The first few nights were a bit rough. Elinor still wakes up usually at least once a night and sometimes, like when she is teething (like right now), she wakes up several times. Elinor would wake up and cry, then Sophia would wake up and complain that Elinor was waking her up, and then Connor would wake up and wonder what all the "sister drama" was about. 

But everyone told me that it would be fine and that she would sleep right through the crying. And...it turns out that everyone was right. After just a few nights of crying, I went in to take care of little one to find that her sister was passed out. She did not even notice the crying. At. All. 

Here is to new roommates and successful room sharing!

 

Satan is a fool.

He really is. He doesn't get it. Satan didn't get it on Black Friday when Jesus took our own sins upon Himself so that He would suffer the punishment we deserved. Satan didn't get it on Easter morning when Christ rose from the dead, conquering forever sin, death, and the devil. Satan doesn't understand that this battle for the souls of the elect has been won. And, he doesn't get that he isn't the winner. 

We spent last week in Fort Wayne, Indiana. Fort Wayne isn't a perfect city, it can be actually quite annoying, there is a lot of traffic, and people don't really stop to say hi to each other. But, nestled in what feels like the secluded woods, you'll find Concordia Theological Seminary, a little spot of wonderful. At least, it is a little spot of wonderful to me.

Even on a cold January day it is still beautiful. 

Imagine a place where everyone agrees that Jesus Christ is the true Son of God, that He lived a perfect life for you, that He died a perfect death for you, and that He rose again so that you too can have eternal life. Pretty wonderful, right? Now add to that a place where everyone agrees that abortion kills babies, that traditional marriage is great, that children are a blessing, and that we should love and care for our neighbors. You are feeling the wonderful, aren't you? Then....top that off with a handful of people who think that Arrested Development is by far the funniest television show that has ever been created and can quote it on queue, and I think I've made a pretty convincing argument. 

"The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing."

Last week, the seminary held its annual Symposia. It is a week of papers and presentations, of liturgy and theology, it is a week of awesome. A week to be surrounded by super Lutheran people saying super Lutheran things. I told Ben that it was a week to get our Lutheran on, get re-energized  for his vicarage, and get ready for his pending call. And last week was all these things. It was so good that on the way home we were already talking about how would could manage to do it all over again next year. 

Last week, was also kind of a stinker. We ended up having to take our van into the shop and drop some major money on repairs only to have it continue to malfunction on the way home. Now we await our appointment at the shop here in town on Thursday to see what else is wrong and how much that is going to cost. In addition, after we got home Ben's laptop quit working, the hard drive just completely went out. There were other things too. A lot of things to bring us down and flood our newly re-energized minds with worry and doubt. 

Which brings me back to my original point. Satan is a fool. Satan hates the fact that Ben is going to be a pastor. He hates the fact that my husband is going to proclaim God's word each Sunday to all who will listen, he hates that we are raising our children to believe that what the Bible says is true, and he hates the fact that we are baptized children of God. He also hates the fact that last week we had a solid week of theology and friendship, and little bit of Arrested Development one liners. He hates that last week we were super happy and excited for the future. So he does the only thing he can do: he tries to make us despair. He heaps burdens on us. He takes away our security. He thinks that if he can just take away some of our blessings that we will curse God and will fall away from our faith. 

Satan is a fool because just as he didn't realize that Christ on that cross was God's victory, he doesn't realize that suffering only drives us to that same cross. When I have doubts, I do not despair, I pray...fervently. When my securities are stripped away, I do not curse God, I rely on His generous and constant care of my family. Satan is a fool because he doesn't realize that when he takes away some of our blessings that it reminds us of our true blessing: that we have been given faith in Jesus and that one day we will live with Him in heaven, our true home. 

Two isn't all bad.

I gave Sophia a hard time the other day for her general two-ness. I don't think that is a word, but I don't let a little thing like that stop me. 

It turns out that as hard as two can be, it isn't all bad. 

Also, there is nothing quite like a sleeping two year old to make your heart melt...and your neck to ache in sympathy.